We're in serious trouble...

Currently Listening To :: Patriotism :: Company Flow

US Trooper: "Uh, Mr President you have to take the lense caps off first..."

Dubya: "Just shut up and keep looking intrigued by what I'm looking at!"

Niiiice...

Currently Listening To :: I Wanna Get Next To You :: Rose Royce

After the euphoria that was this afternoon at 4:30pm, I've calmed down a little...

Finishing my last undegraduate exam was one of the best feelings I've had in a LONG time. Walking out of the exam room, I raised my hands and couldn't stop grinning. Meeting Riss after her exam finished (she finished earlier), we both couldn't stop grinning, laughing and act stupidly around uni, just having a walk and a coffee for old times sake.

But I'm hella tired now...

I'll post again soon; I'm out~

Early Summer Fiesta

Currently Listening To :: Like I Love You :: Justin Timberlake feat. Clipse

What do you get when you put xtn, otiose, larissa, mc2k, dre and izms in a room together with other close friends? A fun-filled friday night on the town is what!

Since no one else has decided to post up this mini-impromptu-blogmeet, I thought I'd mention it. Well, it wasn't so much a blogmeet; we all somehow knew each other through some connection or other.

It just happened that the majority of us have blogs.

After knocking back some drinks at the Rock Night Markets, we watched Tim Finn belt out some of his new tunes, as well as a few from some other band he used to jam with. Displaying a youthful exhuberance that could only be described as infectuous, I put forward the idea to band-in-the-making "Standing Room" members that they should incorporate some dance routines into their future stage shows.

I was duly dismissed by the rock-n-roll purists for my pop-tendancies.

After a lot of (but not uncommon) deliberating, we ended up at the Intercontinental Hotel haunt "Sketches" for our fill of pasta and 'free' salad. While some of us were merely hungry, Xtn and Otiose showed us how real famished men eat, and over our bowls of pasta, we proceeded to begin heated intellectual discussion. Pick-up lines and techniques, both used and recieved, featured prominently, as did how Avril Lavigne would never date Justin Timberlake in THIS lifetime.

After dinner we went our seperate ways, with the majority of the group heading out to somewhere else, while I headed to the basement with some friends to meet some more. After deciding that we didn't really want to pay $25 to hear slowed-down-yet-funky Nirvana covers, we ended up spending nearly as much on cocktails at a posh lounge on top of the Circular Quay terminal. In the clear night we sipped our cocktails until the wee hours (trying to drink mine any faster would have led to me being hospitalised due to the highly acidic nature of my drink; apple schnapps and passionfruit pulp make for a combination lethal enough to burn a hole in most alcoholic's livers).

A highly enjoyable night on the whole...pity Riss' parents stole the digi-cam, otherwise the night would have been complete!

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

Ain't nobody love you like I love you...

I see the way you're acting like somebody else gets me frustrated

You're a good girl, and that's what makes me trust you...

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Currently Listening To :: Falling Aeroplanes :: Darren Hanlon

This is the short autobiographical piece I wrote for my Fairfax Traineeship application; I'm not sure how much it helped in my application, but I have an interview with them next week, so it must have done SOME good...

I was honestly surprised when I got the call today; as I mentioned a few posts ago, I thought I messed the exam up. But it's best to take things as they come...in the meantime, this is a little about me.

Writing an autobiography is something I’ve never really contemplated. Perhaps I’m scared of what I may find if I turn the pen on myself…or perhaps I’m just a little shy. Besides, who would care? This is a city…But every story needs an introduction of sorts, a way to set the scene, to catch the readers eye; so let’s begin.

My name is Benjamin James Wei-Ming Chew. Full time student (soon to be graduating), part time writer (trying to be full time with weekly pay).

Statistically, there is proof I exist, even among this swell of humanity we call Sydney. Body and soul, all vital parts, drivers’ license and tax file number. Enough ID to obtain a Visa or a Passport, or at the very least, entry to my favourite drinking and dancing establishments.

Educationally, I have the numbers to prove my secondary and tertiary successes and failures, even though mathematics has never been the sharpest arrow in my quiver. Coming from a conservative, Catholic all-boys High School, I chose the widest degree possible, a Bachelor of Commerce and Arts. An odd sounding combination, but from a personal standpoint, it made the most sense. Displaying filial piety by studying “real” subjects like accounting and information systems, I was allowed to follow my “real” interests of political science and Chinese studies.

Ethnically, I see myself as an Australian born Chinese, a strange mix of both Eastern and Western cultures that I have learned to straddle with increasing ease. While my parents and sister were born in Malaysia, I was born here soon after they immigrated to Sydney’s northwest in the late 1970s.

Economically, I have been blessed with parents who have raised me well, been willing to pay for my education and not force me out of home as soon as I could earn above minimum wage. This has allowed me the freedom to travel and hold a variety of jobs; some paid, some unpaid, but all of interest to me. Writer, political intern, teacher, telecommunications intern and child-care worker…I was planning on adding corporate accountant or consultant to the list, and if not for some personal slipups combined with a lackluster economy against a backdrop of corporate collapses, I just may have been crunching numbers for a living.

Having been violently shaken from my power suit dreams, I have a slightly more realistic and clearer view of what I want and where I want to go with my career. I’ve slowly discovered the joys and frustrations of being able to do something you love to earn money. The journey from writing for myself, to writing for others, to finally writing for a paycheque has been one filled with personal checks and balances on both my ideals and my pride.

So while disappointment is something I’ll never fully accept, I know I have the mental endurance to keep going, searching for my place in this life. Even amongst a city of 5 million, I’ve learned I am one in 5 million, whether others recognise it or not.

All Trains Of Thought Start With A Stop

Currently Listening To :: As :: Stevie Wonder

It's been a really relaxing weekend, just doing a lot of sleeping and reading. I still have one exam to go, but it's been a long week, so I'll start that tomorrow...

Sitting alone in the subway station on Friday night, I was determined to finish a book that was lent to me; trying to catch a train out my way on a Friday after 7pm is impossible, so I settled on the bench and read.

However, try as I might, I just couldn't concentrate, so much to the point that I had to stand up and walk around, fidgety as all hell. Maybe it was the number of coffees I'd had that day, maybe its me just trying to wean myself from smoking, or maybe I've been so used to rushing around and getting stuff done that to be forced to wait, to have life slowed down for you was something I just wasn't used to. Looking at the screen, my train wasn't even listed in the next half an hour.

Forcing myself to sit and read, I finished the book, but instantly regretted it, as I reaslised I had nothing left to do...I wasn't in the mood to listen to music (if you can believe that), and I definitely wasn't about to read the other book in my bag.

So I sat...too tired to stand the artificial sight my glasses gave me, I took them off. Despite the bluriness, I felt like I could see clearer in ways without them; perhaps because I was using my own eyes and not someone else's vision to help me see. There, amid the stale subway air, a mix of train fumes, fried food and sweat, I did something I haven't done in a long time.

I started to write.

Stopping only to get on the train, by the time I stopped, I had written almost a whole page of thoughts; points that somehow flowed in only a strange way that I could understand, connections so odd that looking back on them, I'm not even sure how I made them.

Whiling away these Sunday hours, I'm not sure if I feel like writing, so I'll go the lazy route. Here are some of the photos stolen from Riss' digicam; she was so nice to scan them for me! Just some of the sights from my soon-to-be alma mater...the Uni of New South Wales.

View from the bottom of the Scientia...



And the view from the top...

It's The Little Things In The Morning...

Currently Listening To :: Have You Ever? :: Brandy

Trundling into the office of a morning, sleep depreived and not exactly the most happy of campers, little things become magnified; little things piss me off.

Right now, I'm trying to load up my ICQ, but I'm thinking that everyone else is having the same idea, as I can't connect to the server, no matter how much I curse, sigh, or just give my screen the evil eye. Not that it's that hard to give the screen the evil eye when I'm finding it hard enough to keep my eyes open. Thank God for green tea...

My trip to Vietnam is in jeopardy...I'm just not sure if I can afford to take that many connecting flights to Ho Chi Minh. While I'd like to think money isn't a huge issue, sadly it is; I also know it's the whole well, you're there, so you might as well go type of mentality, the main reason I'm going is to visit my good friend Di, and spend some time with her. I feel so bad, as I'd been looking forward to it for some time...

So now I'm thinking of catching the train from Shanghai down to HK instead...decisions decisions. Looking at the Lonely Planet for Shanghai, it looks like it will take me a full day to catch the train down to this island. Is it worth it? Suggestions are welcome...trying to think of the possibilities in life on your own can get confusing at times.

And I still can't connect...

Swirling Clouds

Currently Listening To :: T.R.O.Y. (The Reminisce Over You) :: Pete Rock and CL Smooth

And so the pages turn, blown by the winds of time, age, and of course change. Thursday was the last official day of class in my undergraduate degree, and it's been a long time coming. I've been thinking about this moment for so long now, that now that it's here, I don't even know how I'm meant to be feeling. Things are changing, but I think I've been focussing so hard on a moment that I've almost become blind to what comes after, and what came before.

The picture I'm showing right now is a still from Eugene's Honor's film thesis. Entitled "Tian Bian" which means "Changing Sky" in Mandarin, it was shot around Sydney in the middle of 2000, just before I went to live in Taiwan for 6 months. This particular still was a scene at university where my character goes back and pays homage to a Taiwanese girl who was killed; a parked construction truck's park brake failed, and it rolled down the hill, crushing her against the wall. Now only a plaque remains to her memory, and the wall is covered in green vines. When we shot that scene, you could still see the scars in the concrete wall...

On Monday I took a lot of pictures around uni. It was a great day, and Larissa was good enough to take some time out from her "busy" study schedule and chill with me as I dragged her around campus. As it was both our last weeks of uni, we were both eager to capture the sites of so many memories; hers was a digicam, mine was an SLR. I'll see if I can scan some of them up later; every picture has a story behind it, and that's the way it should be.

A good friend has flown off today to pursue career opportunities overseas in Singapore; another one is still in Vietnam. By the time you reed this BJ, you should be in Singapore...best of luck, and thanks for letting me raid your bookshelf and CD collection. I appreciate that...will be seeing you before you know it for NY 2003!

*sigh* It hasn't really set in yet; no more classes to be late to, no more lawns to lounge on.

Time to move on, time to find a new playground...

Sunday Heat

Currently Listening To :: High Fidelity :: Jurassic 5

Picked up this album last week before I flew out to Malaysia, but didn't really get to listen to it until I got home; popping the disk in the car, this track stayed on repeat for nearly 5 or 6 revolutions...just like ?uestlove of the Roots Crew, I've always thought that the sign of a great song is where you can remember exactly where and when you heard it for the very first time. And today this is a rarity for me...can you remember when was the last time that happened to you?

Not one to state the obvious, but I'm back from Malaysia after just a quick weekend jaunt. Memories still fresh in my mind, I can't wait to get back there at the end of the year. While some people question why I love Malaysia so much, I always tell them that to me, Malaysia will always be a holiday destination. Ever since I was a child, the feeling of the humidity draping you as you step off the plane has meant only one thing; it's time to cut loose.

The crazy traffic, the smog, the extreme AC, the heady cocktail of East and West...I feel at home, like I've never left. Eating sweet bread and milo with condensed milk for breakfast with my cousins, nothing feels more natural. Picking up my backpack and going mall hopping in search of obscure fashion and cheap data on plastic is second nature. Sitting on my cousins porch, drinking Heinekans and smoking Dunhills with my uncle while the sun sets is the epitomy of an easy afternoon. The day cooling down as dusk falls, the Islamic call to prayer reverberating in the background, heralding the beginning to the nights fun...feasting on hawker stall food from greasy stalls, tiger beer is a must, and the night isn't complete without a game of Blackjack; Malaysian rules of course.

But now I'm back in the dry heat of Sydney, I've been trying to concentrate on my end of session work, yet at the same time soaking up the feeling of finally finishing up university. I thought final session was time to relax; I've been dreaming. Things have been hectic more than ever, and I've been stressed more than ever. I've started smoking again, and I know I need to stop...can my hands stop shaking? *sigh*

Oh, I had an exam for a Fairfax Editorial Traineeship on Friday...I didn't mention it because I didn't want to stress out over it too much; they only take in about 15 people out of the 150 people taking the test, and if it's one thing I now know, it's that I need to get better at writing under pressure WITHOUT a computer. No cutting and pasting paragraphs on paper...still, everyone at the Blitz end of year dinner seemed impressed that I'd actually made it to the exam stage. Who am I to be ungrateful? I only applied after my editor virtually forced me to, so I guess the effort paid off in a way.

It's a beautifully blazing day outside, and I still have work to do *sigh*

Lunch break is over, so back to it; not long to go now...