Milestones In My Mind

Currently Listening To :: Dontchange :: Musiq

I used to think that birthdays were overrated. iIth the past few years of my late 20s all a relative non-event in terms of life-changing experience when it came to waking up the morning after my birthday, I would have liked to say that turning 30 has been no significant difference. Don't get me wrong, I'm introspective as ever - navel gazing is something I don't think I'll ever be able to do away with. I just thought that this year would be no different - but just as life always has surprises in store, this year has been different.

But not necessarily in the way I thought it would be.

It's official - it's time to move the goalposts on my life. My sister in her wisdom told me that most men don't really know who they are until they are at least 30. I believe what she said, and looking at when the last time it was that I really took stock on my future, I have to cast my gaze back to when I was 18, on the cusp of something of (nearly) infinite possibilities. Thoughts about what it would be ahead of me, what I wanted to achieve by the time I was 30 all flash through my mind.

Truth be told, I'm certain that I've achieved some of what I set out to, but it's the things that I haven't achieved that stick with me. But really, that's no way to live a life. Starting tomorrow, I'm pulling it back together. Turning the glass upside down to make sure that what was once half empty is half full, what I hadn't achieved yet wasn't something to be cast aside like an egg that was past it's used by date - rather it was like a plant that didn't respond to the nurturing as quickly as you'd like it, or a goldfish that was sick but that came back to health. It may have taken a little longer than you thought, and that's okay. The juice was worth the squeeze.

But tonight, I'm going to bask in the semi-lucid state I'm in - trying to take in my life to date, and think about what's next. When you reach a point where you think you should have all the answers and realise you have none, it's time to start over.

That begins tomorrow.