Mental Stability

Currently Listening To :: I Believe (Wo Xiang Xin) :: Fan Yi Chen

After that last outburst of job induced angst, I'm decidedly calmer...probably because I'm so tired from work that I don't have the energy to get tired. Stayed up late on Sunday and last night rushing my brain to come up with creative and content for a client proposal today. Hope all went well...

Another reason I've been so tired is I've been up ''til strange hours watching this movie over and over again. I know I'm a sucker for romantic comedies, but this one is the best I've seen a while. I can't believe I bought the CD for Stephen in Shanghai and didn't even know that is was from the same movie that my friend lent me a few days ago!



I remember when I was at a really low point during my final year of High School...I had just found out that I had screwed my trial HSC exams, and that I was in danger of screwing up my whole final year if I didn't do something about it. I was in a state...

Sitting in the dark late at night in front of the TV, I remember watching taped episodes of "Friends", and actually feeling better. Somehow, the show allowed me to lose myself in another world. This movie has that same effect; it touches a chord inside of me that I can't explain. I know it sounds strange, but at this time of confusion, the data written on two pieces of plastic is somehow keeping me sane...



I'm off to watch it again, and I suggest all you other suckers out there to do the same.

Derailing

Currently Listening To :: Water :: The Roots

Lost a post again...typical.

As I was writing, if I had to wait for my own posts, I'd die from boredom, thinking nothing happened in my life. Which it doesn't. Well, not in the good way anyway...A friend the other day said to me over the phone "If you think you're right, or if you think you're wrong, either way you're probably right." How true...

Job issues again Ben?

Yeah, you know me too well. An explosion of pent-up anger and frustration after the phone hangs up. The realisation of what's happened, the self-doubt and questioning of why I am forever getting so close *holds fingers together to emphasise point* to getting jobs all the time, yet never quite there. *Ben's hand starts to shake trying to control emotional derailing*

People telling me to be patient, to persever, that the job wasn't the right one for me anyway, and that when the right one comes along, it'll be yours for sure. Hmmm...sounds like the relationship spiel eh? AND, to cap it all off, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Dinner tomorrow night with 23 other single souls; sounds fun right? I can't even seem to get excited about Friday night dinner with friends...

This is some depressing shit. I'm going to stop promising to post pictures, 'cause I know I'm just going to end up leaving it. I'm off to watch a few movies that I really like...fuck a critic.

Stranger Things Could Happen

Currently Listening To :: Girlfriend :: Alicia Keys

Now that the "installation issues" have been "resolved", I will soon start to get the pics up and showing. But right now, I'm too tired to keep looking at a screen for much longer. Work experience is taking it out of me...it's been a week of odd occurences thus far though...

Firstly, MMM-FM, traditionally playing "non-stop rock", was blasting Eminem's Without Me all over the airwaves the other night. Since when did Slim Shady become rock? Last I heard, he wasn't feelin' those little Limp Bizket bastards...

Next, while on hold to a client yesterday, what comes out of the earpiece? Not Kenny G, not Whitney Houston singing "I will always love youuuuuuuuu", but Salt N' Pepa chanting Let's talk about sex baybee, let's talk about you and me, let's talk about all the good things, and the bad things, that may be, let's talk about sex...

After waiting a month to see Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers in English without subtitles, I managed to fall asleep in the first half of the movie. Just hella tired...we also sat two rows from the front. For three hours. I swear, my right eye is twitching as a result!

Can you believe we might be going to war with Iraq? No one asked me...well, at least I'm not the only one with no confidence in the way John Howard is handling things...

Oh, and the Catholic Church approves of Harry Potter, witchcraft and all...apparently the good versus evil plots of the best-sellers are imbued with Christian morals...any comments?

Apologetic Insomniac

Currently Listening To :: Quills :: The Roots

As I continue to "maneuver" the "installation issues" on this Adobie Photoshope version unsaid, the "Ben's Reflections On This And That: A Five Senses Approach" Blogshow is temporarily on hold/experiencing technical difficulties/will be ready for take-off shortly. In the meantime however, sit back, drink in this interlude/post, and check some pics courtesy of my friends "Q-Guy" and "Discovery Channel".

My body clock is all messed up with the time difference between here and there; what difference can an hour make? I'll tell you what the difference is...falling asleep at a normal time and keeping switched on until 4 in the A.M. Not fun I tell you, not fun. I don't know how I'm going to get up for the second half of my work-experience placement tomorrow...

Yes, I'm still looking for a job. While I've found rejection is still hard, what twists the knife is the feedback, especially when you know they are right. What can be improved upon, what I didn't have, and well, just those reasons why I'm so close yet so far. Again. I guess you just have to take it and grin, keep driving towards the finish like the beat to this track I'm listening to...trying to stay positive is the hardest thing.

So as I keep looking and listening, I'm applying for new positions as we speak, while still managing to keep myself busy. Hopefully it won't be long before I get this show on the road...until then, a Happy Chinese New Year to you all!