End of Year Cheer

Currently Listening to: My Love Is Your Love - Whitney Houston

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

I probably won't be blogging until the New Year, as I'm going to make a concious effort to spend more time with my family and friends.

Peace, Love and Blessings for the holiday season and the coming year!

What We're Goin' To Do Now Is Go Back...Waay Back...

Currently Listening to: Years In The Making - Dilated Peoples

Man, life has been hella hectic lately. Between doing summer school classes, going out, helping my friends Kev and Jo-Jo set up their gaming cafe at Chatswood, and trying to spend some time at home writing, I havent' had a lot of time to myself...nor keep this thing updated!

On Tuesday, I got a call out of the blue from one of my old High School friends, Cameron, telling me how he was getting the fellas (i.e. him, myself, and two other of our best HS buddies for drinks in the city). Now I can't remember the last time I saw him, let alone all four of us together...my Valete dinner would probably be it, or shortly after! That's like almost 5 years! Damn...that's like almost 5 years since HS!!

Still, we met in front of Town Hall just like old times, and just like old times, we were all running late. Keeping with all the other times we'd tried to meet, Nick called and said he couldn't make it, 'cause his girl Sam was "sick", so he HAD to spend some time with her. Now Sam is great, not to mention a hot mix of Burmese and Australian (like a lot of mixed gals are). But still... So among several muttered calls of being whipped, we headed to Shark Bar, just Cameron, Alan and I. Drinks all round, and we then spent the next few hours playing pool, but more just catching up. Talking about old times, what we were doing, where we wanted to go, and how the HELL was Nick still with Sam after 5+ years! We all placed bets that it wouldn't last until after school...5 years later, and we're still wondering. Opposites really can attract_grin_

It was strange, all of us acting sentimental, and me sitting there thinking about how much we'd changed, but we still all got on with each other so well. Had we always been this way? No...Are high school ties just stronger? Definately not. Despite our varying ideas, careers, places and faces, after all this time, we can still get on so well together. Maybe it's because we haven't seen each other in so long, and we had so much catching up to do. Maybe it's a lot of things...

I'd like to think it's because we just get on. Simple. Like I said, real things don't die, they just fade. To me, trying to hold hold too many people close to your heart will leave it lonely in the end...I never really had that many friends in HS, but I think now that the few I did have will always be. And in the end that's what matters the most.

My Bad...

Currently Listening to Dr Dre w/Snoop Dogg - Still D.R.E.

Fuck it, I couldn't resist this one.

Okay...back to me.

Supreme Confidence, by Ben Chew

Currently Listening to: Wang Faye-"Ni Xihuan Bu Ru Wo Xihuan"

Whenever I listen to this song, I remember Taiwan, and I remember the cloudy and rainy days I used to spend in my best friend Miriams room, just talking about our lives, eating pao mian (instant noodles), trying to map out our futures, and listening to good music. And even though Miriam's back in Taiwan now, while I'm still in Sydney, our connections are still solid. True memories, like a true love, never really die. They only fade. This song is encapsulated definition.

Today, in this part of the world, it's overcast.

Ni xihuan bu ru wo xihuan

"What you like, isn't necessarily what I like"

For those who read my blog (and I thank you for it...) will know that I love commenting on the happenings around us. Whether it be the election, the government and asylum seekers, or racism. Harry Potter, hip-pop, or my favourite movies. Today is different. Today is all about me. Bar humbug. _grin_

As this year comes to a close, I've had some time to look back on things, talk with a few people, and the conclusions are starting to form. I'm possibly repeating myself too. But it's all strange...all strange.

This year has been the best year at uni for me. Period. For those who know me, my marks are only _just_ average, and that's seriously speaking. So now that my marks are where I wanted them to be at the start of this year, I'm on one hand glad to have reached that seemingly elusive goal. On the other hand, the fact that the job market seems to be in turmoil, will probably mean that the mark that I once thought would have been enough probably isn't.

I've been focussing for a career in Information Systems, and now it seems like it's just not going to happen. Not to be TOO pessimistic, but it's not looking good. I have received enough rejection letters this year to form a rejection diary, and for those who think that the pain lessens with each one? It doesn't. I still feel worth that little bit less each time, no matter who sends it. So I've been thinking and exploring the non-conventional. Writing. Journalism. Public Service. Teaching. The less glamorous and secure paths that only people supremely confident in their abilities take on. Or those who seemingly don't have much of a choice. Not to say that they aren't mutually exclusive possibilites. Personally, I'm hoping for a bottle of supreme confidence for Christmas...sounds like a new cologne eh?

Looking back, the first few years of uni for me were really just (mis)spent running around, trying to be cool, being too caught up in what everyone else was doing. This year at uni has been very different. Being forced to think outside the traditional 3D social cube of friends, family and relationships has been exciting, yet at the same time trying. I've been heavily involved in uni volunteer activities, I've become president of a club on campus (that's MOSAIC for those who don't know), and I've managed to land myself a job writing for the University magazine Blitz. Very fulfilling.

But at times, I feel very alone. I can't count the number of times my mother tells me I treat our house like a hotel, and how I never spend enough time with the family. Friends have been telling me I've been silent and out of touch. I'm still single.

Does that mean I regret things? Of COURSE not. Nothing is regretted, and nothing would be changed. This is not some self-pity post. Nor does this mean that I am abandoning any other possibilites.

"Be like water my friend, be like water" - Bruce Lee.

Aussie, Aussie...Aussie?

Currently Listening to; Robbie Williams - "Better Man"

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, what have we here? An Australian Taliban fighter? First there was John Walker. Now there is the 'Bin Laden' Aussie. Well, no one can say that Australia isn't standing "shoulder to shoulder" with the US on this issue now.

Chatting with my dad after dinner over some (cheap) mango, he told me that one of his patients is a BAT employee, and they worked out this afternoon that BAT in Australia alone manufactures 140 millions cigarette sticks..a day. A DAY!!! BAT only holds 60% of the national market too. That's right, no exporting going on here. Can you believe it? Think about it. Say there's 20 sticks a pack, that's 7 million packs a day. If each pack retails for say $7-8 dollars, and the government takes say, just under half? That's around $3 for every pack, which makes say, $20 million plus in tax revenue a day.

What does that mean? Well, if you're Nauru...you're laughing. Keep those asylum seekers coming!

WeekEndIng Now

Currently Listening to: Zhou Jie Lun (Jay) - Track 3, "Jian Dan Ai" (Simple Love)

With the weekend coming to a close, I spent most of today surfing and relaxing, while listening to this great track from Jay's new album. Not as many super hits (in my opinion) as his first album, but it's still a great album, and show's some growth and promise for the oft criticised Taiwan music industry.

Went to a 21st on sat nite...been a while since I last went to one, but it was a nice chanege. Happy 21st Mich-tex! I was even asked to do a short speech, and while nervous as hell (public speaking is something I've never really been fond of), I think it went okay. Champagne, wine, the view at Mosman...a nice combination. I left early to see Arthur off at XXL, and spent the rest of the nite jammin' and hanging out with the Faan crew.

The last of my fam heads back to Malaysia tomorrow, and with it, the house should go back to normal...although I'm missing them already. Hope the come back soon...

Speaking of coming back soon, guess who won't be back on our shores for a while? I have to say that the immigration department pulls no punches, and if I ever thought they were disciminatory, I take it back. They don't have time to dice up all visa violaters into different groups...they hate ERRRRBODY!

Sooo...everybody looked at their visa's lately? *grin*

Movies and More Movies

Currently Listening to: Marvin Gaye - "Let's Get In On"

But there was an important and essential truth contained in the idea, and the truth was that these things matter, and it's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently, or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party. -Rob, "High Fidelity"

On the recommendation of a good friend, I made my sis hire "High Fidelity" last night, and I have to admit, it's a great movie...although, I'm sure the book is much better, and with quotes like the one above? Killin' it...I also FINALLY saw that "mystery for grown ups" too...I'm not a major film buff, but to me it's a classic too. Two good films in the one day? That hasn't happened since Austin Powers 1 and 2! *grin*

An interesting part I remember from "High Fidelity" tho...they actually called Marvin Gaye pop music! Well, I'm not one to start an arguement, but say for the sake of it, Marvin Gaye WAS pop music. Mr. What's-Going-On-Let's-Get-It-On-Sexual-Healing was pop music? Think about that. What the does it say about the standard of music back then? More accurately, what the HELL does it say about the state of music today?

Speaking of the state of things today, I was at the international conference, The Refugee Convention, "Where to from here?" at uni today as part of my summer school course. I pity the guys from DIMA who were there, especially the one who had to deliver Phillip Ruddocks message. He DEFINATELY drew that short straw. Some interesting stuff though...in fact, the past few days have been a windfall of information that we may know, but forget...

_Of the 1.2 billion Muslims in the world, only 15% are Arabs._

_Many Arabs are NOT Muslim_

_Islam is the fastest growing religion in the US. Similarly, in Australia, Islam is also the fastest growing non-Christian religion_

_The term illegal refugees is a oxymoron; by definition, refugees are fleeing their country and seeking asylum, and the lack of authorisation or documents DOESN'T make them illegal_

_Australia is the only country that uses mandatory detention when processing refugees_

_Passports weren't even widely used for people moving between countries until after WW1; before WW1, it wasn't even a problem. Why? Because war is the greatest cause of refugees..._

Interesting, neh? That stuff is just iceberg tipping...

The Great Blue Yonder

Currently Listening to: Reflection Eternal - "Move Something"

My sis Julene flew in this morning, home from her trip to Europe and Contiki Tour, while my cousin Derek and his fiance E-Luan flew home to Malaysia this afternoon. I didn't get to see them off at the airport, as I was busy with summer school...my mind is everywhere BUT class right now.

Just thinking about flying, or watching planes sky overhead into the blue distance, I think of Taiwan, and all the people who I know who are there/going there right now. Makes me think of graduating at the end of next year, and flying back to Taiwan, to Malaysia, to China...just free to fly for the summer...

But that means getting something lined up jobwise before I leave...

I think reality is trying to ground me; gotta start planning and thinking for 2003.

_Now_

Cut the stargazin' ya'll, MOVE SOMETHNG!!!

White, White Wine

Currently Listening to: Sun Yan Zi (Stephanie Sun) - "Kai Shi Dong Le" (Beginning to Understand)

I woke up this morning and my voice was non-existant. Last nights heavy dosage of white wine, Karaoke and an average of 5 hours sleep for the past week left me stumbling my way to a glass of water and a short (and pretty incoherent) breakfast conversation with my family and cousins about last nites activities..

Ah, the social gathering. Be it a dinner party, work party, or just a party, one of the things I've been doing a lot of is flexing the social skills. Not necessarily out of choice, but more out of necessity. Singles out there know what I mean. While that doesn't mean that I'm against meeting new people, but without a significant other to retreat to, you have to make a concious effort to meet people in the wonderfully superficial social dance we call "mingling". Case in point:

Ben: "Hi, I'm Ben, it's nice to meet you..."
Them: "Hi, I'm ..."

Now, depending on the a few factors and the occasion itself, the conversation can go a few ways. But keeping it recent, I was at an engagement party last night, so...

Ben: "So, how do you know so-and-so?"
Them: "Oh, I'm a high school friend...and yourelf?
Ben: "Yeah, I took a few classes with her back at the start of uni too..."
Them: "Same uni? UNSW? "
Ben: "Yeah, I'm from there finishing off my degree. I do a combined Com/Arts degree..."
Then: "You're still at uni? Wow..."

Stop. Now, the fact that I'm in my 5th year of uni draws quite a few odd looks, and even more so when people find out I'm NOT doing a Com/Law degree or Medicine. In fact, in a room full of Accountants, this can be quite concerning. Short of being stereotypical, I think most people think that my Com/Arts degree is a waste of time, and that the only good that can come of it is that I have a double degree (and an inferior one to Com/Law at that). If they don't ask me if I paint or draw in my Arts degree, it's a good start right there.

Them: "So, what do you do in your Arts degree?"
Ben: "Well, I major in politics and Chinese."
Them: "You know, that's a really strange combination with Commerce...of course, if you want to go work in China..."

What I find really disappointing these days is that a lot of people see uni as a means to only one end, i.e. getting a really good job. While I'm not trying to say that people who do so are wrong, I don't think the pursuit of mental gainsand capital gains is mutually exclusive. And therein lies the crux of something that has been on my mind for a while, the polemic way of thinking that seems to be the common mindset, where being one thing means you can't be the other. Haves and have nots, good and evil, right and wrong, black and white...

Me? I'm trying to keep my mind on shades of grey matter...