Here Is A Writer That Really Matters

Currently Listening To :: Midnight Maneuvers :: Little Brother

He remained annoyed with himself until he realised that not knowing what he wanted was actually quite natural.

We can never know what we want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.

Milan Kundera :- The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Deconstructing caramel latte's tonight at a not so local coffee house, I relished a rare chance to play devil's advocate with a friend about her long term relationship.

"You're scared of marriage? But why?

If you've been with him for this long, shouldn't you be okay with it?

Ahhh...perhaps you need to date other people, and then you'll know for sure if this is what you want.

What? You're trying to tell me that you don't have a back-up in mind?!?!"

All while I threw whatever question came to mind, Kundera's quote kept playing in my mind over and over again. Having been through a lot emotionally and physically this past week or two, I've begun to appreciate the freedom and complexities of living life a day at a time. Working in a job where relying on (and being disappointed by) others is so much of an everyday occurence that being able to make the best of any situation is becoming second nature.

So I still have trouble deciding what breakfast cereal I want to buy next. Give me a break.

But the point that was really driven home on the cold walk back to my car was that there is no real absolute wrong or right in life. With no basis for comparrison, what works for you is what works for you, be it the partner you choose, the career you follow or the breakfast cereal you find yourself eating in the morning.

In choosing a degree to pursue at the end of high school, I eventually chose Commerce/Arts because I had no real idea of "what" I wanted or where I wanted "it" to be. Choosing the broadest degree I could think of made the most sense at the time; the best of both worlds was how I approached it.

However, not knowing something is a state that no one wants to be in these days. Be it the answer to a question, the destination of the ride or how to cook a good risotto, not knowing has become a social taboo. When recruitment officers ask you in your interviews, "so, where do you see yourself in 5 years time?", if you want that job, you'd best have thought this one through. And while the answer "having your job" may seem witty and appealing at the time, it's best to hold that tongue and remember the first of the forty-eight laws: "never outshine the master". Last time, I checked, there can only be one sun at any one time.

But I digress.

Part of me is thinking that perhaps Kundera is simply spelling an easy way out; if we don't know what we want, it's okay! Don't worry!! Things will work themselves out!!! But then perhaps there are times that we DO know what we want, but are just too scared to either admit it or go out and work to get it. Either way, we're only human. Mistakes will be made over and over, and ultimately it's up to us to deal with the situation. You can go along with it, ignore it, or try to make the best of it.

Pass me the breakfast cereal and the milk dammit; all this thinking about not knowing what I want is making me hungry.

And that's a natural thing...isn't it?

Currency

Currently Listening To :: O.S.T. :: People Under The Stairs

Opening up my blog after a few day hiatus, I was shocked to see 12 messages; thanx to all the posters out there *grins*

Let's see...where to begin? No one agrees with me? Well, it's probably because most of the posters aren't really answering the question. That, or I have to set tighter parameters; but where's the fun in boundaries?

So...what can you buy for $10 that is "enduring"?

That being said, I guess you can interpret "enduring" in one of several ways. Enduring can be physical, something you can hold in your hands, feel the texture of, possess. Enduring can also be a concept of worth. While it's true that you can buy hella lot of cheap things with $10, over time, will they be enduring? If you paid $10 for a pair of jeans, would they be "worth" as much in your mind as ones that cost $10 times as much? To some yes, others, not quite so. Enduring can also be metaphysical. A memory that sits deep in the core of you, like a memorable night at a dance party, or even a ride on a pony.

Heh.

To me, enduring is a bit of all the above. However, I've also been spending my money quite freely these days. Having a steady income which doesn't leave me living hand-to-mouth is something I've never really experienced. While I haven't gone wild and buying anything that I want (yet), the cash just goes. Disappears. Poof. And with it, does my discerning taste in what I buy. Why you ask? The same reason that the state of California now has a Terminator for a Governer, Dubya wages world wide wars, and Beyonce shakes that ass. Because they can.

A conversation with a friend a while back when we both started working resulted in us realising that with said steady income and few financial anchors, we could buy nearly anything we wanted (short of anything that required legal documentation, security background checks or contracts for our souls).

While I'd like to follow Dre's lead and say that all memories that are enduring are for free, I know that these days, my money is doing the imagining for me. It's quite sad that now that I have money to spend, I use it to fuel my creativity, as opposed to using my creativity to find ways to burn my money. Something's not quite right...

Mark my words, in a few years time, I'll be having this same conversation with myself regarding $20.

"You gotta $50 bill, throw your hands up, you gotta $20 bill throw your hands up..."

I'd buy THAT for $10

Currently Listening To :: Ghetto Heaven :: Common (9th Wonder Remix)

This is at least a two-part post, so I'm trying to get some help here, some ideas here, so direction here. Much obliged...

As a child, I would always look forward to getting pocket money from my parents. I can still remember being driven to junior school during the summertime, and getting 20c from my dad for the tuckshop (for those who don't know, that's Australian for the canteen) to buy an iceblock or a drink...simple, sweet memories.

How times (and inflation) have changed. These days, I can drop 20c and not think twice about picking it up. So reaching into my wallet in attempts to find some currency, I'm finding it increasingly hard to pull forth anything of real value, anything of real permanence. Similarly, trying to buy something of worth is becoming increasingly expensive. Either that, or my consumer tendancies have just become richer without me noticing the shift in my tastebuds.

Think about it. I could go on for pages about what you can't buy for $10; but what can you buy for $10 these days?

Think about it. What can YOU buy these days for $10 that is enduring?