Here Is A Writer That Really Matters

Currently Listening To :: Midnight Maneuvers :: Little Brother

He remained annoyed with himself until he realised that not knowing what he wanted was actually quite natural.

We can never know what we want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.

Milan Kundera :- The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Deconstructing caramel latte's tonight at a not so local coffee house, I relished a rare chance to play devil's advocate with a friend about her long term relationship.

"You're scared of marriage? But why?

If you've been with him for this long, shouldn't you be okay with it?

Ahhh...perhaps you need to date other people, and then you'll know for sure if this is what you want.

What? You're trying to tell me that you don't have a back-up in mind?!?!"

All while I threw whatever question came to mind, Kundera's quote kept playing in my mind over and over again. Having been through a lot emotionally and physically this past week or two, I've begun to appreciate the freedom and complexities of living life a day at a time. Working in a job where relying on (and being disappointed by) others is so much of an everyday occurence that being able to make the best of any situation is becoming second nature.

So I still have trouble deciding what breakfast cereal I want to buy next. Give me a break.

But the point that was really driven home on the cold walk back to my car was that there is no real absolute wrong or right in life. With no basis for comparrison, what works for you is what works for you, be it the partner you choose, the career you follow or the breakfast cereal you find yourself eating in the morning.

In choosing a degree to pursue at the end of high school, I eventually chose Commerce/Arts because I had no real idea of "what" I wanted or where I wanted "it" to be. Choosing the broadest degree I could think of made the most sense at the time; the best of both worlds was how I approached it.

However, not knowing something is a state that no one wants to be in these days. Be it the answer to a question, the destination of the ride or how to cook a good risotto, not knowing has become a social taboo. When recruitment officers ask you in your interviews, "so, where do you see yourself in 5 years time?", if you want that job, you'd best have thought this one through. And while the answer "having your job" may seem witty and appealing at the time, it's best to hold that tongue and remember the first of the forty-eight laws: "never outshine the master". Last time, I checked, there can only be one sun at any one time.

But I digress.

Part of me is thinking that perhaps Kundera is simply spelling an easy way out; if we don't know what we want, it's okay! Don't worry!! Things will work themselves out!!! But then perhaps there are times that we DO know what we want, but are just too scared to either admit it or go out and work to get it. Either way, we're only human. Mistakes will be made over and over, and ultimately it's up to us to deal with the situation. You can go along with it, ignore it, or try to make the best of it.

Pass me the breakfast cereal and the milk dammit; all this thinking about not knowing what I want is making me hungry.

And that's a natural thing...isn't it?