Snippets

Currently Listening To :: So Fabulous :: Little Brother

I've lost my insence holder, which means I now need to buy my own. So right now, I've got no where to light it up. Scents of Jasmine and Nag Champa remind me of late night cram sessions, trying to release stress at 3 am in the morning after my fingers couldn't type no more, my mind couldn't link facts no more, my body couldn't stay strong no more...

"The emperor has been shown to have no clothes...his claim that the US, and the world, faced an immediate danger from Iraq's weapons of mass destruction has been shown to be a bit of a joke." Reading my former public policy tutor rip into the US President in the national papers today filled me with pride; she was the one who inspired me the most. Watching Dubya beg the U.N. for support in rebuilding Iraq has also been fun in a ironic way. Combine this with the US basically telling Iran "don't move, we're coming for you" further reinforced my belief that trying to fathom US foreign policy is one for the "too hard and shouldn't but still do care" basket...

Went to the Sydney John Mayer concert last night; while I was impressed, I wasn't blown away like I hoped I would be. Still, it's undeniable that there's something intimate about going to a concert; that sense of shared experience and connection on so many levels through the music is indescribable. I worked out that if I had listened to his new album prior to the concert, and if he'd engaged the crowd a little more than just on his extended-beyond-belief-but-in-that-good-way version of "Come Back To Bed", I'd have walked out a happier man. That being said, I'm about to drop the same dollars to see J5 and The Legendary Roots Crew in about a months time. Can't wait...

I miss taking the train, riding the bus. Not because of the crowded carriages, the freezing AC in winter or lack thereof in summer, but because of the time it gave me to sit and think. While it's not the whole reason I don't blog as much as I used to, it's a big portion of the pie. Now I know I'm not the world's best multitasker, so having my transport taken care of allows my mind to do what it does best. Wander in wonder out...

Apparently, I'm a blend of jazz. I like that, the word blend. Complex yet simple, abstract yet very real. Blend like a good pasta sauce, blend like a fresh cup of coffee, blend like a woman's scent...

So nod your head to a smooth jazz beat and relax your mind if you can, 'cause I'm about to light some candles and burn some insence. Let it blend like liquid dye with the air and inhale, taking my mind on a slow ride to heavier things far away from the rest of the world. A world run by the barrels of millions of guns and the men who tell others where to point them, yet who've never felt the fear of having one pointed at them.

Wanting What Everyone Else Has

Currently Listening To :: Express Yourself :: Charles Wright & The Watts 103rd Rhythm Band

Two states of mind, both alike in conviction,
In overcast Cerebrum, where I lay my mind,
From everyday battles searching for some distinction,
Where confused thoughts leave me in a confused bind.


There is something that tugs are me, plays with me. It's like Mark Walhberg said in his (in my opinion) classic movie "The Big Hit" I dunno...I just can't stand the idea of people not liking me". Part of me wants to be like everyone else, yet the "individual" in me yearns to be not quite.

Individuality is arguably a hollow concept if you subscribe to the theory that as social human beings we are all really a product of exterior forces and influences. To combat this, I find myself not walking into certain stores, not reading certain books or listening to certain albums for fear of "joining the bees in the sweetness of the pop culture hive".

Speaking on the subject with a friend tonight, she said that it was a matter of exercising the choices that we've been presented as a result of our situations. Well, she didn't REALLY say it like that, but I thought I'd cut a long conversation short, and that's where I'm cutting it. So while part of me was thankful she didn't make me feel like a complete snob for walking into some stores just because I like the brand name (yet knew in the back of my mind there was absolutely no chance of finding what I wanted in there), I was also thinking that I need to open my mind up more to different experiences. And I'm not just talking about where I shop for ties and French-cuff shirts either.

There's so many things out there that I haven't tried just because I was just too scared, just too worried about what others will think, just too lazy, just...well, just because.

I need to start pushing my limits more instead of simply defining myself by them.

I need to start traveling with others' points of view, or I'll forever be stuck in my own state of mind.

I need to live more of my life, instead of reading about others living theirs.

But first I need some sleep...

...or else I'll be gettin' lucid and wake walking through my sleep.


(N.B. Apologies for ripping up the classic Shakespeare, but once I started, I couldn't stop.)

Senseless Senselessness

Currently Listening To :: Ni ShenMe Hui Dou Shuo Bu Qing Chu :: Jay Chou

At a club on Saturday night, I witnessed something I thought I had left back in my earlier clubbing days. A fight broke out in the place, and it basically involved one guy smashing a bottle over another guys head (who was apparently half drunk anyway), after which the attacker proceeded to kick the other to the ground while he bled from the head wound from the broken bottle.

I just don't get it.

A friend who saw most of it mentioned how he felt compelled to help, yet remained rooted to the spot. Logically, who wants to jump in to stop a broken-bottle wielding fool when you don't even know who is getting beat down or why? On the other hand, how can you just stand by and watch someone who's defenceless and half-drunk get beat down?

If (heaven forbid) that I was being set upon by more than one attacker, could I count on my friends to jump in and help me? Or would they be rooted to the ground in two minds, by which time I'd be lying on the ground, bleeding and in a heap.

Flipping the coin, how would I react in such a situation? Saying that I would rush to a friends rescue is easy, but I've never been tested...I just hope I'd do the right thing in that split second that it takes to make that decision.

Ironically, the DJ played that Black Eyed Pea's track "Where Is The Love?" as security rushed the fight scene and the attacker fled into the night before he got hit with a bottle, or much worse...

Where's the love ya'll? I don't know...

Internationally Reknown, Locally Accepted

Currently Listening To :: So Nice (Summer Samba) :: Bebel Gilberto

Flicking through the Sunday Telegraph, I took a quick peak at the revamped "S" liftout in the paper. A collection of arts, film, fashion and gossip, there is plenty to browse through plenty of pretty pictures. Catching my eye was a picture of a 'good-looking' media student looking "sexy, comfortable and very Sydney". While I was more interested in reading where clothes designer Akira Isogawa likes to shop for clothes, books and magazines, the byline to the picture stuck with me.

What does it mean to look "very Sydney"?

Having in this town for most of my adolescent and adult life, I've been blessed to have been able to travel to other countries and continents in the quest for recreation, romance and refinement. So I guess I'd like to think my "look" isn't exactly "Sydney". And from looking at the picture, I don't think I could ever pull off folding my jeans up that high in one fold (I'm not a fan of pant cuffs in any form) any more than wearing a leather wrist band or a wide belt with the buckle sitting on the hip.

So then...that of course begs the question. Why do I look the way I do today? Time to get self-indulgent.

I've been wearing glasses since I was about 10 years old. At the time I was fully convinced that I had 'something' permanantly stuck in my eyes affecting my vision; after going to the optometrist, I came out in utter disbelief, as well as wearing a pair of the biggest, roundest glasses known to man. Today, things are still big, but a little more shapely. I wear a pair of thick black frames that I bought in Malaysia after I'd lived in Taiwan for half a year on exchange. Inspired by the plethora of cool frames and yearning for a change to the metallic half-rims that everyone else seemed to have, I went for the biggest I could find. Contact lenses for going out though; geek chic is only

The hair...the hair. I've always been extra sensitive about my hair; the fact that I travel all the way to uni just to get it cut by my favourite hairdresser when a) I've already graduated and b) I live nowhere NEAR campus is proof enough. I think it all stems back from a last minute haircut that went incredibly wrong at this $5 barber in the city before my Year 12 high school formal. Needless to say, I've found something good, so I'm sticking with it. Right now, it's as long as it's been for a long time; I usually slick it back for "the Graniero" look (in honour of my workmate Davide), but since it's been cut, it's back to ol' messy spikes.

Before the knit sweaters, the khakis and leisure shoes, I was a baggy hip-hopper. I still like to hang out in sweats, runners and shorts, but since I'm getting a little older, I figure it's time for a little change to the look. Honestly though, I've always enjoyed dressing nicely, and my passion for nice clothes probably stems from a crush I was desperate to impress back in my first year of uni. So one part GQ, one part classic styling and a dash of Asian inspired styling make up the look. Taiwan, Malaysia, China and Hong Kong. Sounds complex? Well, if I don't understand it, I'm not sure what to make of it.

As a disclaimer (and what doesn't have one these days?), this is by no means a definitive list. There are of course other things, but this is just the exterior facets to Ben, which only hold so much permanence before they grow out of date or I grow out of them first. On the other hand, I could be here forever talking about all the influences that have shaped me as a person. The experiences, the pains, the joys, the losses and the wins.

So keep on reading...'cause you know I'll keep on writing.

(Disclaimer: Frequency and quality of said 'writing' is not guaranteed in any shape, form or flavour. Heh.)