Wanting What Everyone Else Has

Currently Listening To :: Express Yourself :: Charles Wright & The Watts 103rd Rhythm Band

Two states of mind, both alike in conviction,
In overcast Cerebrum, where I lay my mind,
From everyday battles searching for some distinction,
Where confused thoughts leave me in a confused bind.


There is something that tugs are me, plays with me. It's like Mark Walhberg said in his (in my opinion) classic movie "The Big Hit" I dunno...I just can't stand the idea of people not liking me". Part of me wants to be like everyone else, yet the "individual" in me yearns to be not quite.

Individuality is arguably a hollow concept if you subscribe to the theory that as social human beings we are all really a product of exterior forces and influences. To combat this, I find myself not walking into certain stores, not reading certain books or listening to certain albums for fear of "joining the bees in the sweetness of the pop culture hive".

Speaking on the subject with a friend tonight, she said that it was a matter of exercising the choices that we've been presented as a result of our situations. Well, she didn't REALLY say it like that, but I thought I'd cut a long conversation short, and that's where I'm cutting it. So while part of me was thankful she didn't make me feel like a complete snob for walking into some stores just because I like the brand name (yet knew in the back of my mind there was absolutely no chance of finding what I wanted in there), I was also thinking that I need to open my mind up more to different experiences. And I'm not just talking about where I shop for ties and French-cuff shirts either.

There's so many things out there that I haven't tried just because I was just too scared, just too worried about what others will think, just too lazy, just...well, just because.

I need to start pushing my limits more instead of simply defining myself by them.

I need to start traveling with others' points of view, or I'll forever be stuck in my own state of mind.

I need to live more of my life, instead of reading about others living theirs.

But first I need some sleep...

...or else I'll be gettin' lucid and wake walking through my sleep.


(N.B. Apologies for ripping up the classic Shakespeare, but once I started, I couldn't stop.)