Voyager

Currently Listening To :: A Long Walk :: Jill Scott

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, but not really any writing. What's up with that? I hear you ask. I'm not sure myself. Perhaps I've been really busy lately. Perhaps I just don't make enough time for myself these days. Perhaps life is good, and I'm too used to writing about the bad and not the good in my life. And I wonder why the glass is always half empty.

I find myself doing a lot of observing lately. Watching. Listening. Processing. Forgetting. With all the contraints eating into the time-pie that is my 24 hours a day, I think I'm forgetting about what's important to me in my attempts to be everyman to everyone. Not that I'm not willing to please; nay, pleasing is something that pleases me. But sometimes, I think I need to get back to what's important to ME.

Watching a neat movie last night in the form of the "Italian Job", the band of rogueish thieves posed the question after a successful heist, "what are you going to do with your share of the money?" They all then proceeded to go through their secret desires and material purchases. While the thought of what I'd do with a share of $35 million in gold bars isn't an everyday problem I face, it got me thinking about my own situation. Let's take a look at the pieces in the pie.

Family wise, I can never EVER complain. Family is something that has been rock solid, and while I wish there were more ups, I can safetly say that there are few downs. Any downs are worked out, worked in and worked through. A typical pragmatic Asian family? Perhaps, but I've never really known any other.

Job wise, what can I say? I don't have enough good things to say about my new job, and neither do anyone who I meet. While I may be starting at the bottom and catching titles like "travelling salesman" and "shelf-stacker", we all have to start somewhere. Career wise, I've been a little slow on the uptake, granted. I've never been a huge career man, never wanted to carve my name in corporate stone. But perhaps I never thought I could before. Now, I'm not so sure, but for once, that's a good thing.

Relationships...What? You want me to kiss and tell? C'mon...A gentleman never tells, no? Not one to live by hard and fast rules, let's just say that things are good. Real good.

So things seem good right? Yes and no. Granted I have no issues with my life; life is good right now. But am I living MY life right now? I'm putting in the time at work, keeping it together family wise, and building my relationship. Which brings me back to the Italian Job. Am I living for me, or living for other people?

Give me some time to think about what's important to me; then we can play kiss and tell with my life. But right now, I'm off to spend some time with my sister over a Sunday night dinner at home, then coffee with the fellas before another long week of work. Time alone will have to wait another night.

Singing To Myself

Currently Listening To // Xing Qing (Starry Mood) // Jay Chou

In honour of Jay's new album release, I decided to dig into the archives and find the lyrics to this gem. While I was studying Chinese (especially in Taiwan), I loved to translate my favourite songs. I'd spend hours buried in my headphones and dictionary, slowly uncovering the loving, losing, longing and emotions hidden behind the language barrier I was contantly peeking through. In this way I not only learned common characters, but it also gave me even more songs to belt out at karaoke *grin*.

To me, there's something so simple yet so beautiful about some Chinese songs. And while I can get the gist of most songs, for those who can't understand Mandarin, listening to me croon a tune can probably be quite boring. Part of me often I feels like I should be singing something that people can get into, something everyone can enjoy. The other part of me just wants a chance to sing a song out loud that holds a special place in my heart; my own make-believe romance; me indulging my Mando-pop star tendencies.

So in attempts to bridge that cultural and microphone time gap, here is the translation for anyone who was wondering what a good Chinese ballad sounds like and means. Look for it at select karaoke sessions with Ben near you.


Starry Mood (Xin Qing)

Riding the wind
Drifting by the blue sky
A cloud drops down in front of me
Morphs into your shape
Follows me with the wind
Eating away sorrow mouth by mouth

Being with you is like being with sunshine
No matter where I go it's blue skies
Butterflies fly freely
Flowers fill the sky
Each blossom fragrant just for you
Let the setting sun take flight
Taking us on a grand tour of nature
With the wind
We start to spend every day together

Hand in hand, one step, two steps, three steps, four steps,
gazing at the sky
Looking at the stars, one star, two stars, three stars, four stars, threaded together

Standing back to back
Silently making a wish
Seeing if the distant stars can hear
If the distant stars do hear,
It will definitely come true.

Words To Swear By

Currently Listening To // Stuck // Stacie Orrico

"Where there is trust, there is love."

A question I seem to be asking with increasing frequency is "Do you trust him/her?" Whether it be a partner who is possibly straying or a situation where both parties just don't seem to be able to reveal true feelings, I've begun to appreciate how valuable a commodity trust is.

Commodity I hear you ask? Trust, like knowledge, is power. Simply put, if people trust you, you can gain from that trust if you know how. Everyone wants to gain trust, to win the trust of others, yet it's also apparent that we have an inate want to give trust, in the same way we would give a gift to a lover, or have that urge to take that free lunch, just like candy from a stranger. We want to trust others, nay, we need to trust others.

Scholars write books about it. Entire societies are run on it. And where would credit cards be without it? At home, that's for sure. So why is it so hard for some people to trust others yet others are so quick to give it to others? And what has this got to do with love?

To be honest, I'm not sure myself. Disappointed I don't have the answer here? I know I am...

All I know is that no matter how much I want to, I need to do something drastic like freeze my Amore Express credit card in a block of ice. I'm just not ready to trust myself with it again; I don't think I can afford the interest repayments.

Yet.