Voyager

Currently Listening To :: A Long Walk :: Jill Scott

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, but not really any writing. What's up with that? I hear you ask. I'm not sure myself. Perhaps I've been really busy lately. Perhaps I just don't make enough time for myself these days. Perhaps life is good, and I'm too used to writing about the bad and not the good in my life. And I wonder why the glass is always half empty.

I find myself doing a lot of observing lately. Watching. Listening. Processing. Forgetting. With all the contraints eating into the time-pie that is my 24 hours a day, I think I'm forgetting about what's important to me in my attempts to be everyman to everyone. Not that I'm not willing to please; nay, pleasing is something that pleases me. But sometimes, I think I need to get back to what's important to ME.

Watching a neat movie last night in the form of the "Italian Job", the band of rogueish thieves posed the question after a successful heist, "what are you going to do with your share of the money?" They all then proceeded to go through their secret desires and material purchases. While the thought of what I'd do with a share of $35 million in gold bars isn't an everyday problem I face, it got me thinking about my own situation. Let's take a look at the pieces in the pie.

Family wise, I can never EVER complain. Family is something that has been rock solid, and while I wish there were more ups, I can safetly say that there are few downs. Any downs are worked out, worked in and worked through. A typical pragmatic Asian family? Perhaps, but I've never really known any other.

Job wise, what can I say? I don't have enough good things to say about my new job, and neither do anyone who I meet. While I may be starting at the bottom and catching titles like "travelling salesman" and "shelf-stacker", we all have to start somewhere. Career wise, I've been a little slow on the uptake, granted. I've never been a huge career man, never wanted to carve my name in corporate stone. But perhaps I never thought I could before. Now, I'm not so sure, but for once, that's a good thing.

Relationships...What? You want me to kiss and tell? C'mon...A gentleman never tells, no? Not one to live by hard and fast rules, let's just say that things are good. Real good.

So things seem good right? Yes and no. Granted I have no issues with my life; life is good right now. But am I living MY life right now? I'm putting in the time at work, keeping it together family wise, and building my relationship. Which brings me back to the Italian Job. Am I living for me, or living for other people?

Give me some time to think about what's important to me; then we can play kiss and tell with my life. But right now, I'm off to spend some time with my sister over a Sunday night dinner at home, then coffee with the fellas before another long week of work. Time alone will have to wait another night.