A Little Something I've Just Written...

Currently Listening To :: The Girl From Ipanema :: Bebel Gilberto

Ben, can’t you commit to anything?

These little letters blinked at me on my computer screen as I was busily typing out my other work for this weeks issue of Blitz. Now normally, any types of hazing coming from good friends online is something I normally take in my stride with a smile and a comeback, but this time, it made me sit up and stare.

Commitment. Say it out loud…not too hard you’d think? Perhaps, but some of us have such issues with this concept, it’s not even called commitment anymore, it’s called the “C Word”. While there are so many different contexts in which commitment can be spoken of, the one that springs to most peoples minds is relationships. Now I’ll be the first guy to happily settle down with a girl, BUT, only if I feel she’s someone I can commit to. And therein lies the questions that none of us really want to deal with. Why? Because you’re going to have to start turning the finger back on yourself, and it’s not everyday in which we’re emotionally questioned the way we are mentally and physically.

So let’s begin then…is she worth it? Once the honeymoon period is over, am I willing to put in the effort needed to really make this relationship work? Or simply, am I willing to give up a late night out having fun with the fellas?

To me, the answer all lies in the options you have. As the comedian Chris Rock once said, “a man is basically as faithful as his options”. Which is true, but then we’re all “relatively” mature aren’t we? So it’s really up to us whether we want to keep our options open or shut them down right? Hah! If only things were so black and white…

We’ve been brought up to believe that happiness lies in freedom and independence; the freedom to do what we want, to make our own decisions, our own choices. But things have gotten to the point where we have reached option overload, and suddenly, trying to commit to something has never been harder, whether it be the your partner, your choice of breakfast cereal or the ringtone on your mobile phone.

Now some may take this as just another attempt to rationalise the general lack of commitment from males today; not true. I guess what I’m saying is that no matter what the commitment you are (or aren’t) making, you can’t escape from having to make decisions at some point. Eventually, you’ve just got to decide what’s important to you, and take life from there.

But since I’m a guy, I guess I can only speak from my own perspective, and at this point in time, all I’m saying is that committing to an answer on my ability to commit to something is something I just can’t commit to right now. Why, you ask?

Because I’m just trying to keep my options open right now, you know?

Back From The Dead

Currently Listening To :: You Got Me (Intrumental) :: The Roots

It's been over a week since I last posted up...are we seeing a trend here? Well, hopefully the next few weeks won't be too hectic, so I"ll be able to sit down and get some work done for uni, which is sorely in need. But right now, it's about this blog thing, and then the work thing...and THEN the uni thing...so many things, that I'm trying to mellow out to a different something...and hope things come together soon.

Where to start, where to start...HPAIR! That's right, the 4 day wonder-conference on international relations that had more overseas people in one place than the World Cup Finals. Interesting workshops discussions, long panel lectures and of course, the international night and gala dinner were all great, but as most of us agreed, the best thing was meeting all the different people from all parts of the world. Korea, the US, Philippines, Austria, Malaysia (represent!), Vietnam, Germany, just to name a few...Global youth culture I hear you ask? Quite possibly, but not quite the way The Moult Agency may view it. To me, we're all a part of that lunactic fringe in our own way!

The next few days were spent trying to re-adjust to going back to class, and actually trying to get back into the homework. *sigh* I made it as far as Thursday, and I had myself thinking I'd be ablel to make it to the weekend unscathed...then came the headache to end all headaches. I was at uni when it struck, and I don't know how I managed to drive home at all, as I could have sworn someone was trying to blow my mind and my stomach from the inside with dynamite. 15 hours of sleep later, I was still slightly toasted, so while my friends hit the club last night, I stayed in and took notes on the finer points of policy and decision making. Right now, I'm still feelin' under it all...remember the first time you smoked at felt kinda ill afterwards? Same deal...

You know what? I hate telling these long retrospective, descriptive posts. Ben did this and that, went here and there...the reason I started this blog was to get away from the whole story-telling type isht from my physical diaries...

However, in spite of what I've just said, I think it's fitting to finish off with a memory...thanks for the awesome pics Lief!

Imagine This

Currently Listening To :: Make Me Whole :: Amel Larrieux

I love Sundays.

The bright sun warming you outside, the rays casting shadows in the long, languid afternoon. Children playing with balls and toys, flying kites in the warm breeze, falling over, grazing their knees. Lovers holding hands, basking in the afternoon light and the affection they hold for each other. Dogs sleeping on the grass, parents walking with the shopping in clear plastic bags; oranges, tinned food and veges. Pushing strollers from car to store, store to car.

I feel as if time has stopped, moving between scenes in my mind and in reality, wondering if I've been here before, but in a different time and place.

And I imagine myself walking down busy streets and through quiet lanes, across wide fields and empty parks, around crowded shopping malls and between slow traffic.

Taipei, Kuala Lumpur, Melbourne or Sydney.

Alone or accompanied.

It doesn't matter where I am.

I love Sundays.

Picture This

Currently Listening To :: The PJ's :: Wyclef Jean

Been away for a minute...sorry about that.

Things are changing, but then you knew that right? Decided I needed a bit of colour on my site, so I threw up a pic for people who wonder if I'm still alive. Yep, I'm still here.

I spent the morning at Governer Macquaire Tower in the city, in the Office of the Premier of New South Wales. While I didn't get to say wassup to Bob, I did get to set out my internship with the Arts Policy Adviser. So for the rest of session, I'll be in the city one day a week helping out with some of the policy initiatives within the Arts portfolio. With the upcoming State election, this is a really good time to be there, with the various portfolio's about to put forwad their proposals. I feel I can get something useful done, so first I have to pick about 3 cultural institutions, and focus from there.

Having lunch today with some close friends, a bomb was dropped. Now, I don't know about you, but when my dad actually sits me down to talk, I know it's something important. But when BOTH my parents sit me down and want to "talk to me" about something, it's some serious ish. So when it happens to someone else, I know how important it is.

Cutting to the chase, we're talking about girlfriends/boyfriends, and how our parents views on them can affect our own views on them. Normally, liking someone is just that; it's about the two of you in a relationship. But as we're starting to get a little older, the people we bring home to meet the parental figures take on different meanings. All of a sudden, it's no longer about if you like them...Do your parents like them? Other questions start to pop up too. Will they make a good spouse? A good parent? Do they have a good career? Some direction?

Now I'm not saying you should never bring home your new squeeze, but with this kind of pressure...it's like the essense of relationships is changing, or perhaps it's just a realisation of something we've known all along.

Is this the death of romance as we know it?