Mass Confusion

Currently Listening To :: Speed Law :: Mos Def

Ah, Sunday morning...the perfect time to sit back and relax, take ten paces back and observe where I'm at. A empty bowl of Just Right sits on my right, a cup of luke-warm milo on my left. My speakers tell me I'm getting 3D sound, but the last time I checked, 2 speakers, no matter how large, doesn't make for surround sound.

*Sigh* Have I ever said I don't believe in fate? Well, I don't. The idea of fate irks me somewhat...

fate n.
1. the ultimate agency that predetermines the course of events.
2. the inevitable fortune that befalls a person or thing.
3. the end or final result.
4. death, destruction, or downfall.

While the Collin's Concise Dictionary isn't exactly the definitive definator, 'twil serve. The thought that the course of events in my life is already predetermined, or that my fortune is inevitable, just doesn't sit well on my shoulders or the brow of my forehead. When problems and confusion that I can't control creep into my life, like they are now, my shoulders slump and my brow forrows into a frown. Not being able to affect a situation, especially one as personal as my own life, makes me feel powerless, and all the breakfast ceral in the world won't make it better...

Does this mean I'm a control freak? Perhaps in some eyes, but I don't personally think so. If I can't even care about myself, then how am I to care for someone else? Wanting something to happen, putting words into action, and putting my all into my action. That's been the last few weeks activities, yet I'm still at someone else's mercy, the whims of those who hold the power over my short term future. If I seem abstract, that's because I'm pertaining to all subject matters; not just looking for work, for romance, for some happiness. I'm looking for all of them, so my focus is wide, and so my mindstate is open to 3D pressure from every angle.

Enough.