The Beginnings Of The Downside Slide

Currently Listening To :: Same Shit, Different Day :: Jaguar Wright

I can't shake this feeling that something isn't quite right...

The last few days have been a sine curve of compacted proportions, and if I could mathematically describe it I would, but I think the best way to think of it is a that the height tends towards infinity on both the positive and negative planes, while the number of oscillations is packed tighter than the strands on a double helix.

Does that make sense?

Emotions and insecurities come to the forefront, and then out of nowhere, someone else appears. I'm offered a job interview where I thought I had none.

I don't understand it, so...

I'm at peace with my situation; good friends are there to console me. And then I get targeted by speed cameras on a double demerit point weekend. Not to sound flippant, but it's not the money. It's not the demerit point loss. It's the nagging I'm going to get from my family unit until...

Then

I'm glad to see an old friend, with whom I share a strange relationship with. That attraction is there, but we've been missing that little something to push us to something more. We end up drinking, mildly flirting and talking ourselves into a melancholy rut.

I leave.

Pumping club music, and I have just the right amount of alchohol in the bloodstream to make me feel like I can dance on the podium like no-one's watching. And I do. I leave the club satisfied, but then a friend brings some news that sends my mind racing. Suddenly, Maxwell's Lonely's The Only Company is my only company, and I have the urge to go and sing Jay songs until my lungs collapse at Karaoke.

Wait...no I don't.

I'm far from home, I'm driving with a mind full of sad thoughts, and it's 4am. Nothing seems to be going the way I want it to.

And I realise that I've been here before..and I'm tripping with nowhere to unpack my thoughts.