I Dream, You Dream, We All Dream Our Own Dreams

Currently Listening To // Unwell // Matchbox 20

I had a dream...

I dreamt I was in a rage, screaming, hitting and kicking someone on the ground in a dark alley, driving them further into the ground mercilessly as I struck out at the demons that I was trying to pin down...but when they finally rolled over, I saw myself bloodied on the ground. This didn't surprise me however, as I had a feeling in the back of my mind that something was amiss. I just chose to ignore it.

I dreamt that after a happy one and a half hours gone wrong, I was throwing up in a train station bathroom. Drinking water to help me, I retched again and again and again until I couldn't retch anymore, somehow enjoying the pain that dug deep within my body. I felt like the more I brought up, the more sadness and sorrow I was expelling from my life...but in the brief moment when my head cleared from the alchohol haze, I knew I could never expell my own heart...

I dreamt that fate was a four letter word, and that everyone agreed with my train of thought, but only because they had to. Because there was a simple truth to the matter, and as we know, the truth can't be hidden forever. Whether they believed me or not, I didn't care. I just needed to be right for a change...

I dreamt I was sitting in a bar with another woman; fun, beautiful, wide-eyed...Ironic, as we were both broken hearted, we were both rebounds for each other. And while we agreed there are always other fish in the sea, we didn't want all the other fish. We just wanted the one we couldn't have...so we sank back in the plush couch, drank cheap cocktails and enjoyed a night of denial together while the dj played "don't let me be lonely tonight"...

I dreamt I took off at the lights, shifting gears in an automatic in some vain attempt to make me feel I was going faster than I really was. After I hit the first corner, I somehow remember I wasn't driving a manual, and downshifting into a corner wasn't something that I could really do even if I wanted. Balding tires didn't help either. Swerving lanes like I was drunk, I somehow managed to not sideswipe anything except my pride as other cars sped by laughing, leaving me to pull over into a dark cemetery and contemplate my own mortality. Again.

I dreamt that somehow I was content...somehow...

I have to dream another dream, I NEED to dream another dream.

But not today...

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...