http://izms.blogspot.com

I know I've used this quote before somewhere, but this is something I wrote for Blitz, plus I'm feeling lazy.

See? I'm not so depressing after all; I can be positive DAMMIT!!! *grin*

A while back, when Dick and Barry and I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like, Barry proposed the idea of a questionnaire for prospective partners that covered all the music/film/TV/book bases…(and) there was an important and essential truth contained in the idea, and the truth was that these things matter, and it’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently, or if your favourite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.

Nick Hornby quote from “High Fidelity”

During the very first editorial meeting for this year’s Blitz team all the way back in Session 1, I asked if I could write a column of my own, a little half page to speak on topics that I’ve been thinking about, and hopefully that most of you have thought about at some time too.

For those who have been reading this space for the past year, I’m sure a few of you have been curious as to what an izm actually is. For fan’s of Ally McBeal, I’m sure all of you will recognize the word as that attatched to a few of Richard Fish’s more quirky and personal sayings, his “Fishizms” if you will. For the ebonically challenged, izm is also slang used for marijuana. So combining the two, we have personal sayings or traits that are addictive like a drug. Bingo, we have a column name.

But to me, izms aren’t quirky or personal quips, nor are they doses of illicit drugs. I’ve always seen izms as those little yet imperceptible things that make us who we are, those experiences and emotional baggage that make us all unique. If you spend enough time with someone, eventually you begin to learn about the things they like, the types of movies they watch, the style clothes they wear and the sorts of websites they visit. While pictures may say a thousand words, for me a glance at a persons bookshelf or CD collection can write whole chapters.

So if Rob was right, and what you like is the real clinching factor in any relationship, if you discover that that perfect someone does indeed own every single Michael Bolton record ever made while all you want to do is listen to some Powderfinger, where to from there? How final is this test of what you like versus what you are like? Since we spend a lot of our spare time reading, listening, or simply doing the things we like, so I think it’s only natural to want your significant other to at least appreciate what you like.

Personally though, for me it’s more about the fit than the familiarity. While it would be incredible to find someone who liked (or even knew about) all the things I like, I’d rather have someone who complements me rather than completes me. So while the books, CDs, Movies and websites do matter, I think the fact that they are willing to look at something different or experience new things matters more. And in the end, having an open mind oneself is more important than just knowing someone else's.

And who knows? Maybe love can conquer all...even if it requires a boxed set of Julio's greatest hits.