What Really Matters...

Currently Listening To :: Respiration :: Black Star (w/ Common)

On the Amen,
Corner I stood, looking at my former 'hood,
Felt his spirit in the wind, knew my friend was gone for good.
Threw dirt on the casket, the hurt I couldn't mask it,
Mix it down, emotions, struggle I hadn't mastered...

Apologies for the huge delay between entries, but it's been a very draining few days...which means I should have plenty to write about right?

I was going to write a long post about death, but I've realised that it doesn't matter the reasons, the how come's or the what if's, how angry I get or how unbelievably upset I was. Trying to put things in perspective, the fact of the matter is that my cousin is no longer here with his family, his cousins, his friends or his girlfriend. He's gone...Gavin's gone, and sadly, no matter how many rosary's we say, how many flowers we plant, it's not going to bring him back. I just pray he's in a better place...

And I was going to write a long post about jobs, and how I feel as if I'll never find one, and that I'm not good enough for any employer it seems, and that no matter how much I try, there's always a line that I just can't seem to cross. I know I'm probably complaining too much, and to those who read this who've heard it all from me before, I'm sorry, but...I think you know how I feel about this. But...if I can't even write about something as important as death, then how am I supposed to write about this?

Then I was going to write a post about this, but again, it paled in comparisson too...

So much on my mind, I just can't recline,
Blasted holes in the night 'til she bled sunshine,
Breath in,
Inhale vapours from bright stars that shine
Breath out,
Weed smoke retrace the sky line,
Yo, how the bass ride out like an ancient mating call,
I can't take it ya'll, I can feel the city breathing,
Chest heaving, against the flesh of the evening,
Sigh before I die, I'm on the last train leaving,
Peace...